(Lucard is in Japan on a business trip, and decides to take a midnight
stroll after his 'dinner'. He takes a turn around a corner, hears a crash
from a nearby dome house, and ducks very fast. A chair flies past his head,
and he turns an interested eye to the smashed in window from whence the
chair came. From inside one can hear the sounds of a couple fighting)
BULMA
I don't care if you *are* the *Prince*! You can't just go around blowing up
*my* security robots!!
VEGETA
I do as I please, Woman!
BULMA
Well, 'please' your sorry Saiyan ass *out* of *my* house!
VEGETA
(Growling) You cannot order me around, Woman! I'll not have you tell me
what to do. (Grumbling) I require solitude!!
(Flies out the window,
buzzing Lucard's head but not noticing him. Lucard looks on in wonder, never
having seen some one fly quite like that before. He then turns his
attention to the woman inside the house.)
BULMA
(Storming around, grumbling obscenities. She then picks up one of Vegeta's
spare gloves, fondles it, then collapses, crying.)
Stupid, stubborn Saiyan! Why won't he ever
admit it...?! Are the words "I Love you" so hard to say...?
LUCARD
(From the deep shadows outside of the window)
No... not really...
BULMA
(Looking up. Through her tears, Lucard looks surreal. The broken glass
glitters like stars, and just as Bulma begins to shake her head clear, she
locks eyes with Lucard)
I... who are you...?
LUCARD
Someone you truly loves you... (Smiles seductively) Invite me in...?
BULMA
Oh... yes... come in.
(Lucard is instantly at her side, caressing her throat)
LUCARD
Relax, my love. It will be over all too soon, enjoy it...
BULMA
(Sighing and leaning back to offer her neck. Lucard kisses her softly, then
bites deep. Caught up in the throes of passion, she whispers:)
Vegeta...
(Lucard pauses a moment at the name, then continues. What does he care who
she thinks he is? Bulma repeats the name, but this time it's a bit more
urgent. Then, suddenly, she shrieks:)
VEGETA!
LUCARD
(Snakes an arm around Bulma's waist and snarls in her face.) Shut up!
BULMA
(Whimpering) L--let me g--go... please... (Eyes widen in hope as a
shadow
steals across the window. Lucard notices and whips his head around,
following her gaze. He sees nothing. Bulma, however, knows better...)
VEGETA
(Snaps a hand down on Lucard's shoulder and flings him across the room)
BAKA! That is *my* woman! Touch her and I'll send you to the next
dimension!
LUCARD
(Springs to his feet, hissing mad, then pauses, dusts himself off,
straightens his tux, and smiles roguishly)
Oh, so now you come back to her?
She loves you and you left!
(Vegeta inwardly winces. 'Ouch. Score.')
She wants nothing more to do with
you, isn't that right...? (Gestures and Bulma
immediately falls back into a trace. She nods and begins to walk towards
Lucard.)
VEGETA
(Grabs Bulma and shakes her. Her eyes clear. He then turns an angry glare
towards Lucard, ki energy crackling across his palms. Suddenly, his eyes
widen. *Now* he knows how to deal with him!)
Ah..! So the Straadhoijin exist on
Chikyuu, as well..! I should have known.
LUCARD
Straghoijin? I don't understand you. I am a vampire, Immortal and Evil! I
am Dracula! The strongest of us all! The Prince of Darkness!
VEGETA
(Smug as hell) And I am the Prince of the Saiya-jin. Your point
being...?
LUCARD
(Growling savagely) I'll kill you for your insolence!
VEGETA
(Charging up) HAHAHA! You can try, corpse! *If you can catch me!!*
(Zips
out the window, and Lucard follows in bat form, seething)
BULMA
Dracula...? (Rushes to the window and stares after them as their ki trails
vanish) Vegeta... be careful...!
+In the forests outside of town+
VEGETA
(Landing softly and glaring at Lucard as he transforms back) Well,
Straghoijin. Do you still dare to annoy me? I'll have you know, I
destroyed the Straghoijin home world personally. I don't know how it is
that your kind exists here... but I do know how to end your pathetic unlife.
LUCARD
(Cocky and confident)
I haven't a clue where a lunatic like yourself would get a story like that,
but I don't doubt that you're mad. You speak as if you were stronger than
I! And... you have no taste at all. You dress like a circus acrobat, and
your... rather interesting hair style looks like a carrot green!
VEGETA
(Seething, he mutters under his breath:) I do *not* resemble
Kakarotto...!
Just for that, slime, I will stake you to the ground and let the sun burn you away!
LUCARD
(narrows eyes warily, no longer seeing this as a game)
Ha. So you know of my kind. However, I think you will find me a bit more of a challenge than that to which you are used, my cocky friend. I have survived centuries; men and demons have hunted me, and none have claimed my soul. You, a mere human - no matter how powerful you may be - are no match for me.
VEGETA
(smiles and slowly unfurls
tail and begins waving it back and forth, like a cat about to pounce) (AUTHOR
ASIDE: okay, so I know he doesn't HAVE his tail any more, but this is a story.
So sue me. And besides, he grew it back in Super Z
http://hometown.aol.com/juuhachigo/dbszfic.html - which you should REALLY read.
Um, back to the story)
Oh, I don't know about that, oh mighty Prince of Darkness. I have fought Straghoijin thousands of years older than you, and I sincerely doubt a mere weakling like you could present any difficulty to me. You will learn what it means to touch my Queen. (looks at Lucard askance) Why, you don't even know what you are, do you?
LUCARD
(looks at Vegeta blankly)
VEGETA
(mutters) What is it with this planet? Aliens of all kinds, and they all think they're natural-born Earthlings...
LUCARD
What? What are you talking about? Out with it, before I slit your throat.
VEGETA
Baka. As if you were even fast enough. Why, you're a Straghoijin - from the planet Ghoijinn, originally. You were genetically designed as a biological weapon, to affect any race, any species, merely by the exchange of blood...
LUCARD
(seriously
freaked out - he's just noticed the tail)
You... you lie! My soul was forged in the fires of Hell, as you will find out soon enough! (aims fingers at Vegeta and shoots electricity out of them like he did at the Countess.)
VEGETA
(taken
off guard, gets blasted and flies backwards)
(flips
gracefully head over heels and lands on feet, crouched over)
Ho - a Straghoijin with fighting ki. Well, that's a first.
LUCARD
Fool. I will
incapacitate you, and then drain you and add your power to mine. And then I
will take your wife... she is beautiful, you know. You are a fool to treat her
the way you do. (licks fangs, making them very shiny in the full moonlight)
She will make an excellent addition to my collection. (aims and fires
another blast)
Wha...
(Vegeta
disappeared completely from his sight)
VEGETA
(right
behind Lucard)
Boo!
LUCARD
YAH!!
(spins around
and tries to hit Vegeta - the blow is powerful and would have shattered bone if
it had connected, but Vegeta is too fast)
(Lucard growls)
Where are you, bastard? Come out! Fight me, if you dare! Or are you afraid? (laughs cruelly) You're not even a real man, but don't worry - I will show Bulma what a real man is...
(Vegeta
suddenly appears in front of Lucard. Lucard tries his de-materialization thing that
he did with nosferatu, but just isn't fast enough - Vegeta grabs him by the
throat and hoists him into the air)
VEGETA
Bastard! Chikusho! How dare you speak of my woman this way? By the time I'm through with you, even the buzzards won't be able to...
(Vegeta
suddenly looks shocked, then drops Lucard and screams, falling to the ground in
a crouching position. Dr. Gabor Varney stands behind him, calmly holding
Vegeta's tail in his fist)
VEGETA
AAAAAAAAARGH!!!! (can't move for the pain)
LUCARD
(panting,
rubbing throat and straightening bow tie)
You took your time to get here...
VARNEY
(chuckles) Well, you know - had other things to do, and Samantha WAS rather demanding of my attention tonight. So - I see you've met your first Saiyan. (gives Vegeta's tail a vicious wrench, eliciting a small cry of pain from the prince) Always go for the tail, remember?
LUCARD
A what? You know what he is?
VARNEY
Of course. All people with any kind of knowledge know; don't you remember? This fellow and his friend tried to destroy our world a few years ago. (leans down) Isn't that right, Princey? (squeezes harder, and Vegeta fights not to cry)
LUCARD
I don't know what you're talking about…
VARNEY
You're lucky to be alive, Alexander. And now, I think you have some draining to do? Saiyan DNA is very powerful, and if you were to take him...
LUCARD
Of course. And then, his precious Bulma. He shall learn what it is to defy me. (looks possessively at the quivering Vegeta) You'll make an interesting slave, Vegeta - zombie style.
VEGETA
(plaintively) Bulma....
LUCARD
(laughs) You can't help her now.
VEGETA
(smiles,
which Lucard doesn't like at all.)
I'm not talking about helping, HER, Baka...
VARNEY
Alexander, look out!
(from
behind Lucard, Bulma comes out of nowhere, armed with a wooden stake she got by
breaking a leg off the chair she threw out the window)
BULMA
YAAAAAA!!!
(Lucard does
his disintegration thing this time, disappearing just before Bulma can stab
him)
VARNEY
Well... you are rather spirited, my dear. (looks her up and down) I can see why Alexander wanted you.
BULMA
Get your hands off my husband you creep!
(slugs
Varney)
(Varney
drops like a brick)
BULMA
Ha! I learned *something* being around warriors all my life...
VEGETA
(stands
stiffly)
Baka. You could have gotten killed.
BULMA
(smiles - she
speaks fluent Vegeta-ese) You're welcome, Vegeta. (sighs) I don't
know about you, but I'm ready to go home. And make up. (winks) As a matter of fact, I think I owe you a reward for coming to my rescue... and vice-versa.
(Vegeta
grins wickedly, takes a step toward her)
BULMA
Only problem is… (sways suddenly) I'm not feeling so good…
(collapses; Vegeta catches her, and that's when he sees that she's still bleeding)
VEGETA
No... the Straad bit her… I hadn't realized…
(picks her up and flies off)
(Lucard is
watching from the bushes, seething)
LUCARD
This isn't over, my prince. You... and your beautiful consort... will someday be mine...
+Meanwhile, on Kami's Lookout+
PICCOLO
Whoa. You see that? Somebody grabbed Vegeta's tail... and lived to tell
about it!
DENDE
Only because Lucard is already dead.
(The two
Namek-jin turn away from the ledge of Kami's Look Out, and back to
the group of men talking animatedly between themselves. They are Gokou,
Gohan and Krillin, who have, along with Piccolo [at Gohan's insistence] come
to visit Dende for the afternoon and see how he's adjusting to his new life
as a Deity.)
GOHAN
(who speaks Piccolo-ese better than anybody)
Mr. Piccolo, are you okay? You look ... greener than usual.
PICCOLO
(Inwardly embarrassed that the kid knows him so well)
Nah, it's nothing...
KRILLIN
If Piccolo says it's nothing... then it's definitely something! I saw you
and Dende peeking at Earth. What'd you see?
DENDE
(Off handedly - this is no news to him)
Oh, some Straghoijin and his familiar tried to kill Vegeta and steal Bulma
away.
GOHAN, GOKOU, KRILLIN
WHAT??!!!
PICCOLO
One of 'em even had enough guts to grab Vegeta's tail.
GOKOU
Wow...! Is Vegeta all right?
DENDE
Yes, he and Bulma are just fine now.
GOHAN
(Tugging on Gokou's gi)
Daddy, what's a Straghoijin?
GOKOU
(Shrugs)
I dunno.
PICCOLO
(Falling into flashback/storytelling mode.)
A Straghoijin is, in essence, a vampire. You see, many thousands of years
ago on the planet Ghoi, scientist created a virus that had the ability to
infect any living creature through an exchange of blood. The resulting
person would then become super strong, extremely fast, and have
hyper-senses and transforming powers unmatched by anyone on the planet.
These creatures were called the Strag, or, in Standard, Vampire. At first
they were easy to control, for the scientists worked in a few key
weaknesses, and were used as a sort of special forces invasion army. But
then the Strag learned how to reproduce on their own, and when the arrival
of Ghoi's space age came, they were out of control. The Strag ran rampant,
and infected dozens of planets. Finally, the Saiyans were called upon
-being the only species known to be immune to the virus- to destroy the
Strag. Many were killed one by one, until an invasion force -lead by
Vegeta- destroyed Ghoi. I guess a Strag or two got to Earth, 'cause Ghoi
has only been gone for a decade or two, and Dracula is well over 500.
GOKOU, KRILLIN
......
GOHAN
(tugging on Piccolo's gi)
Mr. Piccolo... how did you do the flashback thing?
PICCOLO
It's the only worthwhile thing I learned on King Kai's planet.
GOHAN
Oh.
GOKOU
So... what exactly happened? Did Vegeta kill anyone?
DENDE
No. Varney grabbed Vegeta's tail, and then Bulma arrived and knocked Varney
silly, then chased away Dracula.
KRILLIN
B-bulma *chased away* DRACULA? Whoa... (breaks into hysterical laughing)
I knew she got vicious when she gets mad, but this takes the cake...!
Hahahahahaha...ughnk!
(Krillin
is hit, *hard*, upside the head. He turns to see who it was, and
is stunned to see Bulma. But her anger quickly fades and she sways and
faints. Vegeta catches her tenderly, then glares up at Dende)
VEGETA
She has lost too much blood, and the medical equipment was... damaged...
earlier this evening. Help her, Namek. NOW!
DENDE
Of course, bring her this way.
(Vegeta
scoops up Bulma and follows Dende into a room, where he then places
her on a bed. Much to his chagrin, he is then kicked
out as the little
Deity works)
GOKOU
Will she be all right, Piccolo?
PICCOLO
She'll be fine
GOHAN
(Tugging on Vegeta's elbow and ignoring the murderous glance that is shot at
him)
Mr. Prince Vegeta?
VEGETA
Grrrrrr... yes, brat?
GOHAN
Are you ok? 'Cause I remember how much it hurt when people grab my tail.
VEGETA
(Hands balling into fists)
I'm Just fine. But when I find that baka, Dracula, he'll be another story
altogether. (slams back into the room with Bulma and Dende, leaving Gohan
at the door. Verifies that his woman is ok, then demands:) Where is that
baka, Dracula, Namek?!
DENDE
(spreading his hands)
Sorry, Vegeta. I'm not allowed to tell you that.
VEGETA
(Begins to swear a streak as blue as his battle suit, then storms out,
knowing Dende won't cave)
DENDE
Vegeta!
VEGETA
(swings around) What?!?!?
DENDE
I may not be able to tell you, but Krillin's neighbor might give you a hint.
VEGETA
(Nods curtly in thanks then zips out into the courtyard and snatches up
Krillin by his gi-front) Who is your neighbor?!
KRILLIN
Whaaa....? Uh… mankind?
(Vegeta shakes him roughly)
Uh… that is, I mean… I live beside a bookshop, why...?
+In the Parlor of Lucard's hotel room at the same
moment+
VARNEY
--and blew it up. Really, Dracula, I though you knew all of this. Didn't
you read the e-mail I sent you a few years ago?
DRACULA
I thought it was another of those ghastly chain letters. I deleted it.
VARNEY
(Grumbles)
Well, you've gotten yourself into big trouble, this time.
LUCARD
There is nothing that I can't handle.
VARNEY
(rolls his eyes)
LUCARD
(Moves to the window and looks down on the city below)
That Bulma was so... spirited. I *Have* to have her. And, having that
Vegeta as a slave will be so very amusing... And useful. With a zombie that
powerful, I can destroy those pesky little Helsings any time I like! After
playing with them for a while...
Part Two (if you think
you can handle it-heh heh)
Get me the HFIL out of
here!!